Shaming Helps No One

Recently on a podcast called 'Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard' (EP140), Dax and his co-host, Monica, find themselves in a discussion about pedophilia when Monica discusses an article from the Atlantic (April 2014) about Roger Harts' study from the 1970's. Hart's goal was to track the movements of 86 children in a local elementary school of rural New England for two years creating what he called a "geography of children." Dax states, "if you were telling me a story about a pedophile it would be the exact same story…" which is when the discussion becomes problematic.  

I don't expect most people to have much understanding of what pedophilia is and is not, and I do believe that oftentimes it is truly child sexual abuse that is being condemned not non-offending, anti-contact pedophiles per se or minor-attracted people, specifically. I even struggled to articulate my thoughts in this post because the dialogue between Dax and Monida became increasingly incoherent, assumptive, and contemptuous. I think part of this incoherence was fueled by an inability to distinguish between pedophilia and child sexual abuse, with them often conflating the two. 

Child sexual abuse triggers visceral responses in most people (justifiably so) making it exceedingly difficult to articulate and conceptualize the difference between pedophilia and someone who sexually abuses a child. Because of this, Dax and Monica’s conversation leads into dark places with Dax advocating for the tracking, monitoring, and mutilation of pedophiles. Dax states, "You're identified at birth, you're not told to the community but you do enter a system and you have to be checked on and you have to go through classes and you have to have a whole lot of prevention." I think we can all get on board with implementing better efforts to prevent child sexual abuse. What's problematic about this is that it sounds a lot like how we currently track and monitor sex offenders, except Dax is advocating for the tracking and monitoring of individuals who have not harmed anyone. He then goes on to say, "The alternative is completely unchecked you do victimize kids and then you end up in prison." He assumes that all pedophiles are doomed and destined to sexually abuse children. 

The two hosts continue to struggle to separate pedophilia from child sexual abuse. Monica brings up the This American Life podcast episode titled, 'Tarred and Feathered' about a young man who is addicted to child pornography and self identifies as a pedophile and asks, "Is there such a thing as a murderer who doesn't actually end up murdering? Like someone who wants to and almost does, but then doesn't?" You can hear the wheels turning in her head in an attempt to separate these two concepts. However, because they do not have the language to articulate it they are unable to conceptualize the difference.  

The episode ends with Dax and Monica circling back to Hart's study, his findings, and the current state of children's safety. Dax indicates that he is paranoid about his kids safety and states, "I very much believe that you can talk with your kids and get them good at reading people and their motivations so actually I would kind of trust my kids at navigating the world even though I do believe I have a heightened sense of how many predators there are out there". This statement is so problematic that I'm not even sure where to start. First of all, teaching kids how to "read people and their motivations" is victim-blaming.  Do we believe that we can "teach" kids how to not be victims of sexual abuse? Are they saying that  prevention efforts really need to fall on the shoulders of children? Secondly, he assumes that all people who sexually abuse kids are lurking the streets like "predators" when in reality a child is far more likely to be sexually abused by someone they know than a stranger.

We can all agree that there can be more done to prevent child sexual abuse. We should, however, never advocate for tracking, monitoring, and mutilating individuals who have an attraction that they neither asked for nor wanted. That is not the solution to keeping anyone safe. Shaming and stigmatizing this population is often more detrimental and does little to prevent child sexual abuse. 

Take a listen to their dialogue at the following link:

https://armchairexpertpod.com/pods/charlie-day and make sure to check out the posts to come where I'll dive deeper into some of their claims. 

(Posts to follow: sex offender registry and it's implications on families of offenders, prevention initiatives, and recidivism; the reality of child sexual abuse and who sexually abuses children, and more!) 


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Rosin, H., (2014). The Overprotected Kid. The Atlantic. April 2014 Issue, Health. Retrieved at: https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/04/hey-parents-leave-those-kids-alone/358631/